Saturday, August 31, 2019

Goodbye, BEDA (BEDA Day 31)

Today is the last day of BEDA, and to be honest I'm relieved more than anything. While I enjoy the practice of keeping a daily log of my thoughts and feelings, this month was not the month to be taking on this challenge. I've very clearly been having a hard time. I talked about it a lot over the course of the month, and it got to the point where I felt embarrassed to continue to come back to this platform day after day and either 

1. try to hide what I was feeling 
or 
2. repeatedly talk about how terrible I felt in a public way. 

It just... wasn't a good time to be doing this, and while I know I could have stopped this challenge at any time, I felt really stubborn and wanted to accomplish this goal once I started it. I know that sounds super negative, but it's the truth. If I wasn't in this mental head space, I likely would have really enjoyed this challenge, and I guess I should have taken that into consideration before committing myself to it.

That being said, I think I need to take an all around internet break for a while. Not really sure how long it will be... maybe I'll be back tomorrow. 🤷‍♀️ But I just need to not be committed to posting to the internet in any fashion at the moment. I'm exhausted and need to recuperate, and I can't do that while I'm forcing myself to feel okay.

I appreciate everyone who has read along this month, and I'm sure I'll be back soon.

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