Out of Control

I took the day off of blogging yesterday for the first time since late November and it felt SO WEIRD! It was nice to not have to force myself to try to think of something to blog about - I'm back to the normal daily work grind and things are fairly boring - but it definitely felt like part of my routine was missing and I did feel a bit off. So we're back to writing & posting today! 😂

I'll admit that I'm a bit of a control freak. I'm a big BIG believer in taking action in your own life and not just letting things happen for you, so my natural instinct is to try and take steps towards achieving the things I want to achieve at all times. At this point in time, however, I'm feeling a little (a lot) out of control. I have ideas of where I'd like my life to be at this point and time and they're not there yet, and that's not because I haven't done the things I believe I have to do in order to get there. It's mostly due to other factors in my life having to fall into place *first* which are beyond my control. It's a scary feeling and dealing with it is a really big challenge for me. Does anyone else ever feel this way?

I think when I feel like this the best thing for me to do is focus on the smaller things in my life that I can take control of - blogging, working out, reading... Things that make me feel like I'm accomplishing something productive (because I am!) and can scratch that itch of needing to take charge of things. While the big things may still be on my mind, I can at least give more attention to the smaller things in life that may fly under the radar while I'm working toward my bigger goals.

In the meantime, I've been getting SO excited for my February races! I'll be in New Orleans in less than a month for the Rock n' Roll New Orleans Marathon weekend, and a few weeks after that I'll be down in Orlando with Cassie for the Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend! I just received all the pieces for my costumes for both the Enchanted 10k and the Princess Half which has gotten me so much more excited. You won't be getting a glimpse of my costumes until we're much closer to the race, but I have been looking at runDisney costumes online all week in my excitement for the big weekend. I wanted to share some of my absolute favorites!

I'm not sure if these first two are runDisney costumes, but they are amazing nonetheless and I would LOVE to see either one of these out on the course! 😂

"I AM MRS. NESBITT!!!"

Is it me or what this character the most terrifying Disney character to date? 😂

This last one is definitely a runDisney costume and probably the best costume I've EVER seen. I practically did a spit take at how genius this is!:

With this weekend being WDW Marathon weekend, I'll be following along with all of the runners on social and getting myself even more hyped for Princess Weekend. It's going to be such a blast! I'm especially going to be following along with the folks who will be attempting the Dopey Challenge as that is one (four of?) of my bucket list races. Hopefully Cassie and I can make our Dopey attempt sometime in the next few years!

Tonight I'm back on the running horse after my 18 miler that left me in shreds, and I'm hoping to wrap up reading Bunny which has honestly been one of the weirdest books I've ever read. 😂 Really trying to embrace this low-key time as much as possible as I know as soon as January's over my life will be action-packed until May!

What are some things you're looking forward to?

What do you do when you feel a little "out of control"?

On Being Wonder Woman | Blogmas Day 19

Last night after work I went to the gym for a 6 mile run on the treadmill. While I was running I was thinking about how proud of myself I am for sticking so closely to my training schedule and reintegrating regular exercise into my daily routine. I know how hard I had to fight to make training a priority again and now that it feels like a normal part of my week I've been feeling a lot better about myself and getting excited about running. I watched a bunch of Chicago Marathon vlogs while I ran and got myself so psyched knowing I'd be running those streets in less than 10 months. I left the gym feeling really good and came home tired, but happy.

But then I looked at my kitchen sink and immediately started to beat myself up. 

There was still dirty dishes in there from the night before. I know I was out of the house for the entire day and most of the evening, and that my schedule wasn't going to allow for me to do chores until after work the following day, but for some reason I let the fact that I hadn't done the dishes yet totally defeat me. Why couldn't I make time for something so simple? What was wrong with me?

I feel like sometimes (read: a lot of times), like Lorelai Gilmore, I want to be Wonder Woman. I want to be able to do every. single. thing. I want to be able to:

-bring my best self to work every day

-train for marathons and be the best runner I can be

-read every single book

-keep the house sparkling clean

-be a good partner and friend

-cook homemade meals every night

-make everyone happy

For whatever reason if can't do every single one of these things each day, I let myself feel so defeated. I'm really not one to give myself a break, and I'm not sure where I developed this fun little trait of mine, and I so need to change that attitude. I feel like even on their best day, it is so overwhelmingly difficult for someone to accomplish every single one of those tasks on that list. So why do I beat myself up so much when I really don't have to? 

It's okay to revel in the times I feel accomplished and proud without letting something small like a sink full of dishes get me down. Doing it ALL is next to impossible and the more I can realize that it's okay (and necessary) to focus on what feels good in each moment, the better I will feel on a more regular basis. My best self is going to be different every day and as long as I'm trying my best, I can fancy myself Wonder Woman (even if the sink is full of dirty dishes 😉).

A Few of my Favorite Links {#25}

SURPRISE! IT'S A BLOG POST THAT ISN'T READING/BOOK RELATED!

I figured you all were looking for a break. ;)

It's been a bit since I've shared some links with you all so I thought it was time to compile some internet things for you all to click on and check out! This round we've got one more serious and heavy thing but mostly fun, hilarious, and ridiculous things to balance it out. I hope you all find something you're interested in, and make sure you share your favorite links of the moments in the comments!

I Replaced The Word ‘Millennials’ With ‘43-Year-Old White Men’ And Now These Headlines Are *Italian Chef Kissing Fingers Gesture*

I always get confused as to why other generations like to abuse the term "millennial" so much, as if the literally millions of people born between the years 1980 and 2000 are all the same and a single-handedly ruining society. So when things like this article come out it is beyond satisfying. Take a look at these hilarious edits and learn just how ridiculous that blaming literally everything terrible on Millennials.

Anxiety, Depression, and Being a Downer



Charlieissocoollike has been a favorite YouTuber of mine every since I started visiting the site back in 2007 (I can't believe that is nearly 10 years ago!). It means so much to me when people I admire speak out about mental health. There is so much ridiculous stigma around topics of mental illness when 1 in 4 people in the United States live with it everyday. We need more voices on this tpic, we need more dialogue regarding this difficult subject, and we need to start treating mental illness as just that - an illness that needs to be treated. It's real, and we need to treat it that way.
New Hampshire Rated Happiest State in New England

This was a cutesy little article just just relays one very important piece of information - New Hampshire, which I consider to be my home state even though I've lived in Massachusetts for pushing 10 years now, is the happiest state in New England! LIVE FREE OR DIE!

Lincoln Park Zoo Names Baby Camel 'Alexander Camelton'

I mean... the title of this link is all you need to know. The Lincoln Park Zoo is extremely witty. And I love it. ALEXANDER CAMELTON! WE ARE WAITING IN THE WINGS FOR YOUUUU!
$ave Dat Money - Lil Dicky

Brett showed me this music video and song and I'm obsessed. I've never related to a rap song so much in my life. Seriously, give this a listen and really pay attention to the lyrics. A.) They're hilarious (I mean, that iced coffee verse at the end? PLEASE.) and B.) They're so effing smart and I'm pretty sure anyone in my age and SES group can totally relate. American Girl Dolls Ranked by Betchiness

My friend Solange had posted this on Facebook and as someone who LOVED American Girl growing up I LOLed the whole way through this clickthrough article. If you know anything about American Girl - whether you had a doll, read the books, read the magazine, or visited the store - click through this article and cry-laugh along with me.
What links have you been loving lately?

Diversity Matters | #DiverseAThon TBR

This video was super impromptu (note the shower hair!) but yesterday I watched a really awful video of this BookTuber who spoke out against diversity in literature and that is something I just can't sit by and stay silent about. (I won't link to the video, but as of writing this it is still live so you can easily look it up if you want to listen to 22 minutes of ignorance.) As someone who considers themselves to be an educator, it is wrong for me to stay silent when someone is being racist or sexist or homophobic or xenophobic or transphobic or spouting ANY KIND of prejudice rhetoric against groups that are oppressed in our society. These things directly impact the students I care so much about and so many of my colleagues and friends as well. I can't consider myself a educator or friend to these people in my life if I don't take a stand against what this BookTuber and so many like this person are still saying in the year 2016.

I wasn't aware of this video or this readathon before posting my Tackle Your TBR readathon TBR selection last week, but as soon as I was made aware I knew I wanted to stand with the rest of the BookTube and online reading community and say No. This person is not a representation of us. We VALUE diversity. It matters to us. It's important. So I am participating in the #DiverseAThon this week, which will be taking place from Monday, September 12th (today!) to Monday, September 19th - the same timeframe as the first week of the Tackle Your TBR readathon. There were only two books on my original TBR that had diverse themes/characters so I added a few more diverse options for myself to choose from this week.

Click play on the video to hear my reasoning behind these picks! Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman 308 pages Diversity focus: Mental Illness Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella 286 pages Diversity focus: Mental Illness
Mr. Smith Goes to Prison by Jeff Smith 250 pages Diversity focus: The incarcerated, race, class
Americanah by Chimananda Ngozi Adichie 477 pages Diversity focus: Race, cultural differences
5 to 1 by Holly Bodger 244 pages Diversity focus: Cultural differences

Taking a Breather

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of posting over the last two weeks. There's been quite a bit going on in my life that has prompted me to kind of take a step back from the internet and my usual hobbies. I've just wanted to stay present with my loved ones and enjoy their company instead of stressing about getting a post up on time or fussing with editing a video. To be honest, I just haven't had the energy and I needed to recharge offline.

During my brief hiatus I've been dealing with a lot - from the minor headaches of trying to fix both my laptop and a broken car window, to the stress of two of my closest friends in the area moving away and the planning of my own move, to the severe emotional weight that the tragedy in Orlando, the verdict of the recent Stanford rape case, and the discussions that I followed closely on the news and on social media directly afterwards has had on me and millions and millions of people around the world - it's been a lot to take in and process as of late and it hasn't been something that I really wanted to process online. Hence, my silence on both my blog and my YouTube channel. My plan to post about my Summer Running Tips or my Wanderlust for Thailand hasn't really felt appropriate at this time.

So, I thought it'd be best to take a bit of a breather. I've spent time to focus on getting my personal life in order and addressing curveballs as they continue to get thrown at me (life is full of those things, isn't it?), planning my move with Brett and spending quality time with Cullen & Erin before they move a few hundred miles away, and reflecting on my feelings regarding these major national events. Honestly, it's been very healing to take the time away and focus on what's important instead of stressing out about the schedule I've set for myself. After all, you can't really plan life, can you?

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and taking care of yourselves. I'm excited to get back to doing the things I love and sharing it all with you. I'll be back to my regular posting schedule tomorrow!

Time to Shift Focus

I'm working for 18 hours today. 8:30AM to 2:30AM.

I know that my fellow Student Affairs folks can relate to this. Sometimes pulling hours like this just needs to happen. We work in a field that is focused on helping others, and sometimes that means working around the clock to meet our students' needs and to support our colleagues that are in the same boat. It's just a thing that happens in our field, and I'm sure in countless other professions that require time, care, and attention to other people this is also the case. I say all the time how great it is that I work in a field that makes me happy because these long, strange hours come easily. Being around my students and watching them grow and succeed give me more energy than any typical introvert should have. I feel truly lucky that I can say that I'm happy at work and I love my job. After all, it's what I spend the majority of my waking hours doing.

However...

I've been thinking a lot lately of how often I've valued my own professional development and being successful in my career over pursuing my interests outside of my career and investing valuable time in my personal life. Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love working in Student Affairs. I worked so hard to get to where I am today and I couldn't be happier in my career. I really can't imagine myself working in another environment, and my students make every challenge I face as a professional so worth it. But I've seen this so often in the world of Higher Ed - once we leave the office at the end of the day, our brains don't often leave with us, and it severely impacts our ability to be present in our personal lives.

When we're with our families, how many of us are worrying about a challenge from work that's weighing on our shoulders? When we're out with friends, how many of us are stealing glances at our smart phones' email apps to just "check in to make sure we're not missing anything" - maybe sending off a message here and there that we deem urgent enough to interrupt our personal time? How often does our topic of conversation default to what happens at work? Though I take pride in my ability to stay off my work email when I'm out of the office, I'm totally guilty of letting projects or concerns from work permeate my thoughts and conversation when I'm with my loved ones instead of enjoying my time off.

I totally get why it happens. I've been conditioned for these 25 years of my life to always be thinking about my professional future. To always strive to be my absolute best in school, to get the grades to go to college, that would then lead me to graduate school, and ultimately my career. I've been taught to be way too hard on myself for not trying hard enough, not achieving high enough, and not devoting enough time to being professionally successful. After a life of feeling this way, it's so hard to turn this off, and the culture we have on who can be the busiest and who can be the most productive does not help. I feel like I'm constantly in competition with my colleagues (both on my campus and off) of who is most devoted to the field and their jobs (whether the competitiveness spoken about or not) and it's exhausting.

We're never really (like, really) taught the importance of enjoying life - but isn't that the whole point?

I hope to change this attitude that I've created for myself. It's not a crime to want to focus on my personal life and strive to progress on that side of my life for a change. I've spent my whole life stressing out over starting a career and - especially over these last three years - I've achieved some pretty amazing professional goals. While I think it's important to always strive to develop professionally, I also think it's important to always strive to develop in my personal life and to value my personal happiness and growth for a change. I want to focus more on being present with my partner and enjoy our time together instead of always talking about and worrying about work. I want to continue to explore the things that I'm interested in outside of my field. I want to try new things and travel new places and be with my friends and family. And I think it's okay to be okay with that. 

I'm curious to know what your thoughts are on work/life balance. Do you find that you focus more on your career? Do you think work/life balance is a myth? Or do you feel like you have this work/life balance thing down to a science? Let me know in the comments or Tweet me your thoughts. I would love to know!

The #SAsearch in Review

Greetings from Dean College, where my apartment currently looks like this:

(And these are the tidier areas of my home at the moment.)

I've been spending most of today packing up my place for in impending move at the beginning of July because (surprise!) I was approved for an apartment earlier in the week! I wanted to get a jump on packing before sessions start with BSU's Orientation in a little over a week, because once that starts I will legitimately have ZERO time. My new place will be about three times smaller than the one I have now, so I'm really trying to purge out the unnecessaries, figure out what will be in storage, and choose what's going to come with me. It's been crazy, but I'm so excited for the next chapter of my life to begin!

Speaking of the next chapter of my life, I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on my #SAsearch. Searching for a job is a long and grueling process, and with impending graduation and with it, the loss of one of your main sources of  income in your graduate assistantship, it can be extremely stressful. I went into the job search process knowing full well that there was a good possibility that I wouldn't have a job lined up before I graduated, but I stayed confident that by the beginning of the next academic year I would be working somewhere doing something that I loved, and that was all the motivation I needed to keep pressing forward. This post is going to chronicle my own entry-level #SAsearch, as well as outline what I thought of the experience. Read on for more! :)

Regarding Super Bowl XLIX's Depressing Commercials

I try to keep this space on the positive side and I like to treat it as a place to record things that make me happy, but as a former Advertising major and an aspiring Student Affairs Professional, I had to take the time on this snow day to address some of the thoughts I had and the reactions I saw in regard to the line up of the Super Bowl's "depressing" commercials. I definitely wasn't planning on writing this post (I tend to schedule out topics in advance) but there are just some things that I needed to say that I had trouble verbalizing in the moment last night. I'll get back to my regularly scheduled excitement and happiness with my post tomorrow. This is going to be a text-heavy post, so go ahead and click "Read more" if you'd like to continue.

(Trigger warning: domestic violence, death)

Twenty-Four

Midnight birthday cake surprise!

And just like that another year of my life has come and gone. 

I turned 24 this weekend and celebrated with friends, games, drinks, and (as pictured above) delicious Oreo ice cream cake! I was also treated to breakfast at our favorite local diner, a barbecue dinner at Brett's family's house, and a movie date later in the evening. The day ended with the new episode of Game of Thrones (duh) and cuddles. Such a wonderful way to kick off this new chapter of my life!

I'm excited to see what 24 has in store for me. I'm sure there will be plenty of challenges, but also plenty of good times to make them a bit easier - and I'll be documenting it all along the way! :)

Reinvent: ACPA National Convention 2014 (25 Before 25 - #3)

Just arriving at the conference. Running on about 28 hours without sleep at this point!
Not sure how I accomplished it (probably the coffee), but I made it to Indy and #ACPA14! :)

Considering I haven't shut up about it in the weeks leading up to and the days following my trip, you should probably know by now that I spent a few days in Indianapolis last week for the 2014 ACPA (College Student Educators International) National Convention. I got the opportunity to meet and interact with student affairs professionals from institutions across the country, attend educational sessions on a variety of interesting topics pertaining to the field, and engage in conversations involving topics that I may have thought about on my own time but never had the opportunity to explore further with others in my daily life.

The great thing about going to professional conferences in your field is that you're surrounded by people who just get it. Student Affairs and Higher Education is a unique field that not many people realize is a thing (I didn't even realize it until half way through my spring semester of senior year at Lasell!) making it a bit more difficult to discuss issues that surround the profession. I'm lucky enough to have a significant other who works with college students for his job, have a few close friends that are pursuing the field themselves, and my parents have heard me talking about it for so long that they understand as much as they can without actually going through it themselves. But trying to explain what you do to someone who didn't have a traditional college experience (or sometimes any college experience at all) or someone who wasn't involved at college past working with their academic advisor and going to class can prove to be quite challenging.

But being in the conference "bubble", you can just state who you are and what you do and people will know exactly what you mean. All of us are going through or have gone through similar things, and we can give each other support and advice from those shared experiences. It's nice knowing that no matter what I go through in my graduate or professional life, there are thousands of others out there that know exactly how I feel!

#BSUlife friends at the Tweet Up! :)
Left to right: Janine, myself, Brittany, and Ed!

The conference itself was an eye-opening and inspiring experience. I've been to both the Northeast Regional and National NACA conferences this past year, which are focused on Student Activities, but attending a conference that had a wide range of Student Affairs professionals in every area of expertise you could think of was a very welcome change of pace. I felt inspired (and, to be completely honest, a little bit intimidated) by all of the people I met and things I was learning, and it really made me consider where I want to be after I graduate. I'm still in love with the prospect of working in Student Activities or Orientation for my future career, but now I'm really thinking about getting some Athletics Academic Advising experience as well. Athletes are one of my favorite student populations (who never really have an advocate for them in the SA world), and would love to get to work with them in some way! It's a relief to get some direction in what I want to do, because lately I've been feeling a bit lost among all of the grad students who know exactly what they want out of their careers!

The presentation crew!
Left to right: Dr. Hyde, Dr. Kocet, myself, and Janine!

I also got the opportunity to present at the conference, which was an extremely awesome opportunity in itself. My professor, the Associate Professor of Residence Education at LSU, a fellow grad student, and I presented on the Ward v. Wilbanks case and were able to generate a good amount of conversation on the topic. It was such an honor to be asked to present at a national convention, and I hope to submit a presentation proposal for the 2015 Convention!

1. Cheese-stuffed burger from Scotty's Brewhouse! #drool | 2. Selfie with the Indianapolis skyline on an afternoon run!

I wasn't expecting it (sorry Indy natives), but Indianapolis is an awesome city! It's so clean, quiet, and genuinely beautiful there. The food's great, the people are lovely, and everything's near by! Our hotel was connected to the convention center by skywalk (which was nice on the off day that it rained), and though it took about 15 minutes to walk there, it was definitely great to not worry about bringing a coat or crossing the street! I definitely wouldn't mind visiting there again - there is so much that I'd still like to check out that I didn't get the chance to!

Attending the ACPA Convention was such a positive experience for me, and I feel so lucky to have been given that opportunity as a first year grad. I came into grad school expecting to go to my assistantship, go to class, do my school work, and that's it, but Bridgewater has provided me so many more opportunities than I would have thought possible. I don't think I would get this opportunity anywhere else, and I'm so happy I decided to attend BSU! I'm looking forward to attending the Convention again next year in Tampa. I'm hooked! :)

I made a quick video with some of my main takeaways from the conference. A lot of what I talk about echos what I've said in this post, but I thought it would be important to include in this post none the less! :)


*This crosses off #3 on my 25 before 25 list - Visit a new city. I'm attempting to reach 25 goals before I reach the age of 25! Want to see the whole list? Check it out here!

On Sexual Abuse

**Trigger Warning**: Discussion of sexual abuse, misconduct, and rape. If you'd like to read on, click "Read More".

Getting Back on Track

Hello, lovely readers!

It's finally spring break, and I couldn't be happier. I feel like this break has been needed more than any other break that has ever been on my academic calendar. The beginning of this semester was rough - personally, professionally, educationally... EVERYTHING. I feel like I fell so far behind from where I should be in all of those aspects, so I'm thrilled that I finally have the chance to play some catch up.

I've thought about it, and here's what I need to do this week in order to get back on track:

1. Practice positive thinking. I've been getting down on myself so much these last few months. I don't know what it is, but I've been letting myself slip into these really low confidence states of mind, and I really need to cut it out. I've been perusing the quotes section of Pinterest lately for a bit of daily motivation and it's helped, even if it's just by a little bit. (And I've also been watching a LOT of Parks & Rec lately, and Chris Traeger has become my new role model.)

2. Get back on my exercise game. Not having a whole lot of spare time in my schedule has allowed me to make the excuse to not work out. My view on exercise has shifted a little bit since completing my first marathon in October. To be honest, I was feeling a little lost not basing my entire exercise routine around a 6+ mile run. Now, I'm focusing more on strengthening my upper body and core in addition to running 1.5 - 3 miles each time I work out, as well as incorporating some impromptu stretching throughout the day. It's been a tough transition, but it's something I'm finally starting to feel comfortable with.

3. Catch up on school work. With all that I have going on with my assistantship and RD position, it can sometimes be easy to forget that there's more to grad school than professional development and attending class. Though I haven't missed any assignments, I've definitely procrastinated on a lot of my reading and larger projects that could use a jump-start. I'm hoping to use my free time this week to catch up on work before the whirlwind that is the second half of spring semester begins!

4. Keep my apartment organized. Since I spend a lot of time at home by myself now, it's pretty easy to just let my personal space turn into a giant pigsty. Keeping things organized will give me less to worry about when I make it home at the end of the day, and will give me a nice relaxing space to focus on item #3.

5. Stop worrying about the things I can't control. Let's be honest here - I have never been good at this. For those of you who are familiar with StrengthsFinder, Restorative (one who thrives on solving difficult problems) is my #2 strength. Though it's often great to have this as a top 5 strength, it's also very difficult for me to set any problems I'm having aside and focus on other things. When I'm going through a difficult situation, it's all I think about until it's resolved. Trying to let things that I can't control resolve themselves is something I'm constantly struggling with, but it's something I want to continue to work on.

There is SO MUCH lined up on my schedule for after spring break, so hopefully this week will allow me to get my life back on track a bit. 

What do you do to get back on track?

A Mean February

For whatever reason, this month has not been the kindest to me. I've had a hard time trying to get through this month, so I apologize for the lack of posts on this space, and the lack of vlogs I've been posting. When I'm going through a tough time, it's very difficult to motivate myself to do anything beyond going to work and going to sleep, so lots of aspects of my life outside of that have gone neglected over these last four weeks.

Luckily, today is the last day of February. Not saying the end of the month will bring the end of what I'm going through, but there's something about the first of the month to kind of bring a refreshing new feel to life. Almost like a new year, but to a lesser extent. I have a few things to look forward in the month of March, including playing in a lacrosse game at the beginning of the month, and flying to Indianapolis for a conference at the end of the month.

I'm pretty psyched to bring February to a close, and am looking forward to (hopefully) a more positive future...

It's Okay to Feel Defeated

Over the last few days, I found myself letting the negative thoughts in my mind take over. This happens occasionally, especially when I'm stressed and tired. This morning was particularly tough. I woke up feeling fine, but as the morning progressed, those deflating thoughts came creeping through my head.

Your hair's a mess. 

You can't fit into the clothes you want to wear. 

You can't even make enough money to buy your own gas to get to work. 

You're 23 and you still can't support yourself.

Everyone thinks you're a joke.

When it's this bad, it's hard to pull myself out of it. I believe all of these thoughts, and as you can probably guess, it makes me feel very low. It's hard to force myself to get up and face the day when these things are so prominent in my head, and all I want to do is hide.

I'm writing this because I know I'm not the only person in the world who feels this way. Those of us who share their lives on the internet usually try to highlight the good - the positive, up-beat, make-my-life-look-sparkly-and-clean stuff - and leave out the bad - the weak moments, the things that frustrate you, the things that break your heart. A lot of the time, we're lying by omission, but those on the outside don't know that, so our lives might look perfect.

I wanted to share how I'm feeling so that maybe, somewhere, at some time, someone will see this post and not feel so alone. Won't feel so isolated. So they'll know that it's okay to feel defeated, because at least one other person feels like that sometimes. There's nothing wrong with being sad, because even if they may not show it, they feel sad sometimes too. 

You're not the only one that feels the way you feel, because even though I may just be a stranger on the internet to you, I know what you're going through. You're not alone.

Happy

I just returned home after a week long visit to my parents' for the holidays. It was wonderful seeing my family and spending time with them! I was way too spoiled and am ridiculously lucky for having amazingly generous gift givers in my life. Seriously, I was blown away. I can never express how thankful I am for everything I received! But most of all, it was refreshing to spend time with family who I rarely get to see during the school year. With my sister a few thousand miles away from New England, it's even rarer that all 4 of us together at the same time, so this Christmas was extra special!

Though it is nice spending time with family and friends that live in the area, it can be a bit exhausting to catch up with everyone, so it's nice to be home. It's strange calling my apartment home instead of the home I grew up in, but I suppose there comes a time in everyone's life when that transition happens. It's not that I don't feel at home at my parents' because I absolutely do and love spending time there, but as I sit on my bed typing this post and listening to Brett play the new XBOX game I got him for Christmas, I just feel happy. I feel like that's when you know you are home. When nothing special is going on, and you're happy for no reason in particular. You just know that's where you're supposed to be. :)

{source}

I received my grades back from my first semester of grad school!

Student Development Theory: A
Theories & Techniques in Student Affairs: A
Research & Evaluation: A-
GPA: 3.9

Hooray! All that stress and busting my butt has paid off. Now onto semester 2...

Hope everyone had a lovely holiday, and for those that are in school, 

I hope you got awesome grades for the semester!

Curly Dreams

I have straight hair. Like, stubbornly straight. I've never been able to successfully curl my hair on my own, and even if it does get a curl to it, it will fall flat again within an hour and a half. I've been jealous of girls with wonderfully big and curly hair (the grass is always greener, eh?), so when somehow my hair becomes miraculously curly (*coughIsleptinfrenchbraidscough*), it's cause for a photo!

This was taken about 10 minutes after I woke up, and within an hour or so this beautiful waviness fells into a frizzy mess. *le sigh* Perhaps I should braid my hair more often!

What kind of hair do you have, and what kind of hair do you lust over?

Friday Five {#3}: A Crash Course in Post-Grad Life

It's college graduation season and it's been a year since I graduated myself, so I'm pretty well-versed in the first year of school-less existence. For all those that are facing the big, bad, "real" world: don't panic! I'm here to give you five tips on how to survive your first year of post-grad life.

1. Don't settle for a job you'll be unhappy with. 
This does not mean wait for your absolute dream job, but don't take the first job that comes your way if you know you're not going to be happy with it. This might mean you'll have to make some sacrifices - working a few part-time jobs to pay the bills while searching for a good company or career path, or taking an unpaid internship in order to gain some more experience in the field you ultimately want to be in, but make sure the job you take is at least a stepping stone to where you want to be in the future!

2. Embrace your hobbies. 
They may have seemed like lame pastimes over the years, but a lot of hobbies entail some great skills that you can apply to your job search. Find ways to improve or perfect the activities that interest you the most, so you can one day work them into your future career. For example, many companies these days look for candidates who are well informed with how various social media outlets work, and how to use them to their advantage. If you're savvy with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blogging, or any other social media outlets, make sure you slap that on your resume!

3. Get out of the house every day, 
especially if you're unemployed or working part-time. It's extremely easy to fall into a routine of sleeping in, staying in your pajamas, and watching TV all day. Find a reason to get out and take in the world, without the distraction of your phone or other electronics. Even if it's just taking a walk down to the corner store, being in different environments and seeing and interacting with different people can inspire you to do some great things!

4. Try new things. 
Take a cooking or painting class. Visit a new restaurant. Check out the open mic night down the street. Sign up for the 5K that your friend has been talking about.. ;) Take a friend or try it alone. (In my opinion, throwing yourself into something new by yourself may even be a better experience than if you're with someone you already know!) You may come out of the new experience with a new hobby, new idea, or even a new friend!

5. Stay true to yourself and what you want. 
Keep your goals in mind, and the steps you need to take in order to reach them. People may criticize you along the way, but don't let that deter you from working towards what you want in life. Just remember that the most successful people in the world were all called crazy before they made it big!

Graduating college is a pretty scary thing to do, but if I can somehow survive the first year out of school, anyone can! Congratulations on your amazing accomplishment, and be happy that you have many more to look forward to! :)

22 Favorite Things About Being 22

It's after midnight, which officially makes it my 23rd Birthday! I have to say that 22 has been one of my favorite years so far. Like any year, I've had my ups and downs, but the good has absolutely outweighed the bad. Here are 22 of my favorite moments of being 22!

The Meaning of Friendship

The phrase "the meaning of friendship" is probably one of the cheesiest things you can throw into a sentence. But do you ever stop to really think about what the idea of friendship means to you? Over the past few days, it's been a topic at the front of my mind.

I've had lots of friends throughout the years, but unfortunately as my life has moved on, so have most of my friends. I've never been someone with lifelong friends, someone with friends I've stayed close with since kindergarten, or even someone that's had a true best friend. It's always something I've wanted to have, but it's never really come around in my life. Although having friends that come and go has been something I've gotten used to, it's never easy to let go, especially when you want so badly for that friendship to work out.

Friendships are like any other relationship in your life - they take work in order to make them last. Just because you get really close with a friend, doesn't mean that you'll stay that way forever. In order to stay close, it takes time and effort on both parts. If one person is investing more into the friendship, they'll likely end up getting hurt. It all just boils down to how much of yourself you're willing to give without receiving much in return.

Over the years, I've learned my limit. Just like in romantic relationships, I know where to draw the line and realize: My friendship isn't important to you. It's time for me to move on. I'll always cherish the times my friends and I had in the past, but once it's time for me to move forward, I tend not to look back. As immature as this might sound, once someone loses my trust, it's virtually impossible for them to earn it back. I'm not saying they're out of my life forever and I'll never speak to them again, but it would take a lot for me to take their friendship seriously again.

I've been fortunate to hold onto a small handful of great friends. (You know who you are!) Ones that remember my birthday without a Facebook reminder. Ones that make the effort to come visit me, even when they live hours away. Ones that can pick up right where we left off, every single time we hang out. When I envision getting married one day, I see these people at my wedding. I'm so grateful for these people, and hope their friendships develop into ones that last a lifetime.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it's important to know what the idea of friendship means to you. Know what you want out of a friendship, and know when you're not getting it. It's better to have a small amount of quality friendships that make you happy than a ton of friendships that don't.