A Mean February

For whatever reason, this month has not been the kindest to me. I've had a hard time trying to get through this month, so I apologize for the lack of posts on this space, and the lack of vlogs I've been posting. When I'm going through a tough time, it's very difficult to motivate myself to do anything beyond going to work and going to sleep, so lots of aspects of my life outside of that have gone neglected over these last four weeks.

Luckily, today is the last day of February. Not saying the end of the month will bring the end of what I'm going through, but there's something about the first of the month to kind of bring a refreshing new feel to life. Almost like a new year, but to a lesser extent. I have a few things to look forward in the month of March, including playing in a lacrosse game at the beginning of the month, and flying to Indianapolis for a conference at the end of the month.

I'm pretty psyched to bring February to a close, and am looking forward to (hopefully) a more positive future...

HESA 102

As I've gone through my first few months of grad school, I've picked up on a few new acronyms (seriously, the HESA world loves acronyms) that I've noticed myself throwing around both on my blog and vlog, and sometimes I forget that not everyone knows what the hell I'm talking about most of the time. I figured it was time for another edition of the HESA Dictionary, so maybe all of you lovely readers & viewers won't be so confused!

Higher Education and Student Affairs (HESA) 102

Programming Board: This is a student-run organization that plans and executes on- and off-campus events for students and university community members.

PC: Program Committee. This is the programming board I help advise at BSU. It's a major part of my GA!

SGA: Student Government Association. This is the student-run organization which represents the student body of a college or university. They're essentially the voice of the students that is linked to the administration of the institution.

FSL: Fraternity and Sorority Life. This is also run out of the office that I work at for my GA.

Orientation: This is a program that happens several times a year (usually June, August, and January) that welcomes new students (both first year and transfers) to campus. They get the opportunity to meet with faculty, take a tour of campus, register for classes, and be familiarized with on-campus resources.

OL: Orientation Leader. These are the current students that are in charge of getting new students familiar with campus. An OL position is an advanced leadership role on campus. I was an OL during the summer of 2010, and it was my first real glimpse into the student affairs world!

NACA: National Association for Campus Activities. This is the national organization for those in the field of Campus Activities. I went to the Regional Conference back in November, and I attended the National Convention this past weekend! I'm also looking into taking an internship with this organization at some point this year.

ACPA: College Student Educators International (Previously known as American College Personnel Association. Confusing, I know, but I guess they just never changed their acronym). This is an association for student affairs professionals in every branch of the field. I will be attending their National Convention in Indianapolis at the end of March!

NASPA: Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education (Previously known as National Associations for Student Affairs Personnel. Same situation as ACPA). This is also a national organization for student affairs professionals. There's no real distinct difference between ACPA and NASPA.

I hope this new addition of the HESA Dictionary cleared up a few of the things I yammer on about on this blog & in my vlogs. Make sure you check out HESA 101 for some more HigherEd definitions!

Boyfriend/Girlfriend Tag!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Brett and I are lucky enough to find the time in our hectic schedules to see each other today. (I'm currently doing work at his place waiting for him to return from work in a few hours! #makingitwork) We actually weren't anticipating being able to see each other today, so we decided to make a little Valentine's Day video for my YouTube channel, which we shot a few weeks ago. If you'd like to know a little bit more about us/our relationship, click play!

(Sorry about the bad audio. I'm still learning best practices for filming!)
When I arrived today I got to see Brett for about 5 minutes before he had to run back to work. Before he did, though, he surprised me with a slew of sweet gifts for Valentine's Day! I definitely wasn't expecting that - that was very sweet of him! :) I'm so lucky to have someone that loves to make me smile! 

A cute stuffed monkey, a chocolate rose, and CADBURY EGGS! Thank you, Brett! You're the sweetest! :)

I'm not sure what we're going to get up to once Brett gets out of work, but I'm sure it will be fun (and I'm sure pizza will be involved... #yum)! I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!

Post #100

1. Beautiful sunset I saw after class one evening.

2. Breakfast at this little place in Putnam, CT Brett & I found last weekend.

3. Playing in the snow with my puppies yesterday morning.

Happy 100th blog post! It's hard to believe that I've already hit 100 posts here on FivEleveNinety, but I suppose it's getting close to a year since it's been launched, so it makes sense!

I've been traveling a lot the past couple weekends. Last weekend I visited Brett at his new job and we did a bit of exploring around his new area. The town he stays in is right on the border of Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island, so we have lots of places to explore! This weekend I visited home. It was nice to see my parents and dogs and have a real chance to relax. I feel like when I'm at my apartment during the school year, I can never fully relax because you never know when a crisis may arise in the res hall!

I'm looking forward to the end of this week. I'll be finishing up my intensive Group Therapy course (meaning I will only be taking two classes until the end of the semester!), and also will be attending the NACA National Convention in Boston! All good things coming up - just got to get through the week!

Hope you all have a wonderful week with lots to look forward to! :)

It's Okay to Feel Defeated

Over the last few days, I found myself letting the negative thoughts in my mind take over. This happens occasionally, especially when I'm stressed and tired. This morning was particularly tough. I woke up feeling fine, but as the morning progressed, those deflating thoughts came creeping through my head.

Your hair's a mess. 

You can't fit into the clothes you want to wear. 

You can't even make enough money to buy your own gas to get to work. 

You're 23 and you still can't support yourself.

Everyone thinks you're a joke.

When it's this bad, it's hard to pull myself out of it. I believe all of these thoughts, and as you can probably guess, it makes me feel very low. It's hard to force myself to get up and face the day when these things are so prominent in my head, and all I want to do is hide.

I'm writing this because I know I'm not the only person in the world who feels this way. Those of us who share their lives on the internet usually try to highlight the good - the positive, up-beat, make-my-life-look-sparkly-and-clean stuff - and leave out the bad - the weak moments, the things that frustrate you, the things that break your heart. A lot of the time, we're lying by omission, but those on the outside don't know that, so our lives might look perfect.

I wanted to share how I'm feeling so that maybe, somewhere, at some time, someone will see this post and not feel so alone. Won't feel so isolated. So they'll know that it's okay to feel defeated, because at least one other person feels like that sometimes. There's nothing wrong with being sad, because even if they may not show it, they feel sad sometimes too. 

You're not the only one that feels the way you feel, because even though I may just be a stranger on the internet to you, I know what you're going through. You're not alone.