I've been feeling a little better the last few days. Much better than I've been feeling for the last few weeks. I have definitely been putting my mental well-being on the back burner lately because I've been wanting to stay as engaged and dialed in to national events related to the Black Lives Matter movement as possible. Doing so, I've obviously been exposing myself to a lot of disturbing and violent images and videos, learning about stories of police brutality, institutional racism, and oppression of my fellow American citizens and fellow humans, and also working to highlight my own internalized racism and biases and strategizing ways to work on those parts of myself. All of that isn't exactly the recipe for happiness, but it has been necessary to take these actions at this point in our shared history history. Knowledge is power, and staying informed has been my number one priority.
On Wednesday night I had the opportunity to connect with some of my student leaders on a Zoom call and, whether they realized it or not, they made me feel SO much better. I mentioned this in last week's reflection, but I've been struggling a lot with being associated with organizations that are proving to hold values that are different than my own. It's hard to be able to rationalize that within yourself, and it really makes me call into question whether or not I'm in the right place. However, hearing my students share their ideas for action and strategies to make change on campus has totally reminded me why I continue to do what I do and why I am meant to be in the position that I'm in. I woke up on Thursday morning feeling like my mindset and emotions had totally been turned around, and I've been re-energized to continue the work that needs to be done. There is a lot ahead of us.
Today I'm feeling good as well. Brett has worked for most of the day and is planning to spend the evening at his friend's house, so I'm mostly flying solo. My main plan is to focus on restoring my mental health a bit and doing small things that bring me joy. I want to spend a lot of time reading. I want to go for a bit of a run. I want to order myself sushi for dinner. I want to color and listen to podcasts and watch the YouTube videos that I need to catch up on. Mainly, I want to recharge my batteries, and I want to take the steps that I need to take to do that. I'm planning to pursue whatever feels the best for me in the moment as today, and the rest of the weekend, moves forward.
Other things on my mind this week:
Going to Pittsburgh in July! 🎆
Brett and I were discussing what we wanted to do for the 4th of July this year. In our conversation, he suggested maybe heading to Pittsburgh to hang out with Erin & Cullen. They were also on board for this idea so Brett and I booked our flights yesterday and we will be spending an extra long weekend with them around Independence Day! It will be so good to spend time with our very best friends in a city that we really enjoy. (And it will be really interesting to fly during a pandemic. We'll be sure to keep y'all updated!)
Virtual BibRave Pro Summit 🧡
This weekend is the Virtual BibRave Pro Summit and I can't wait to partake in all of the activities! It looks like we'll be doing a virtual group run, we'll have a few opportunities to connect as a BRP cohort over Zoom, and there will be a couple different expert panels on a variety of running and social media related topics. I'm looking forward to seeing what it's all about!
Chicago Marathon Weekend Backup Plan 🏃♀️
Soooo... I personally am not super confident that the Chicago Marathon will happen as originally planned. If we're facing the facts, it's an event that draws about 50,000 athletes, and on top of the runners, you have hundreds of thousands of spectators, media, coaches, agents, etc. With the pandemic, it's just not super likely that I will be toeing the line in Chicago like I hope to be. I'm still going to train for the race and keep all of my fingers and toes crossed that I can run Chicago this year, but in the event that I can not, I have come up with a back up plan.
On that same weekend, the Cocoa Beach Half Marathon is running, and it's a race that I've always so interested in running. Cocoa Beach is so close to my parents' house and I already have the time requested off from work, so in the event I can't go to Chicago, I'm going to plan to hang out with my parents in Florida and run Cocoa Beach instead! It looks like Florida has already started to have smaller in person-races, and it looks like this race company is pretty confident that the race will run as planned, so hopefully if Chicago doesn't work out, this race will! 😊
Weekend Reads 📚
In my last weekly vlog, I mentioned that I really wanted to dedicate a lot of time this month to reading, as I've really not been doing that in 2020 (and if we're being honest, most of the last 12 months haha). Since I'll have a lot of alone time this weekend, now is the perfect opportunity to read! I also now have outdoor seating and it's looking like it's about to be a gorgeous weekend ahead, so why not enjoy the beautiful warm weather and dive into some books? Here's what I want to read this weekend:
→ The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
→ Heartstopper, vol. 3 by Alice Oseman
→ How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
→ Happy & You Know It by Laura Hankin
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