Originally written on October 15, 2018
Like a lot of people, the holidays tend to be a challenging time for me. I deal with anxiety often and am a big introvert, and the stress of the holiday season is not easy for me. Between the commitment of spending time with friends and family almost every weekend and evening, the stress of spending money that I really shouldn't be spending on food and gifts, and the annoyance of feeling like I can't get a second to myself, I really do struggle through the holidays. I know I'm not alone, though, so I wanted to share some things that I do in order to take care of myself during this stressful time in the hopes that it may help a few of you out there.
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1. Take moments away
This one is a life saver for me. Like a lot of you, our weekends fill up with holiday parties almost every weekend and while I love seeing my friends and family, it is hard to be "on" all weekend when I've already been "on" all week for work and haven't had a moment to catch my breath and shut off. This is why I make it a point to scope out a place where I can step away where needed (be it a bedroom, a bathroom, outside, etc.) and take a quiet moment to myself. Sometimes I just need a quick 15 minute break to recharge my batteries before I can slap a smile back on my face and continue to ~mingle~. Sometimes I'm even able to grab a coffee at a nearby coffee shop which is an extra bonus! Either way, being able to steal these small moments keeps me charged and able to take on the remainder of the season. Highly recommend.
2. Keep your phone charger and headphones with you
I know it's not the most "polite" thing the world, but honestly my phone has been a life saver during the holiday season. When you're anxious or drained, sometimes it really helps to talk to someone who isn't there with you or connect on social media because EVERYONE is having a stressful time and we can all relate. :P Having a charger handy at all times ensures that you aren't left stranded (should you feel the need to connect outside of your physical environment), and having headphones is an added bonus if you have the opportunity to listen to music/a podcast/an audiobook or watch something on Netflix or YouTube! Again, it's not the most "polite" thing in the world and I try to avoid it as much as possible, but sometimes the need for self care becomes more important!
3. Be realistic and up front about what you can and can't contribute
This applies to a lot of things, but I especially mean financial contributions. The holidays are *not* cheap and, especially as you get older, there's an unspoken expectation that you're shelling out money for food and parties and booze and gifts and yankee swaps and decorations and EVERYTHING. A lot of the time, for me at least, it's not money I necessarily should be spending, so one thing that has helped me over the last few years is being up front about what I can/can't contribute and be okay with having to sit a few things out in order to feel financially stable through the craziness of December. In my experience, folks have been really understanding and it always gives me peace of mind when I'm up front about things related to this topic. Similarly, be realistic and up front about what you can and can't contribute in terms of your time, attention, and mental health. The more the people around you can understand where you're at, the more weight will be lifted off your shoulders.
4. Find time for you and be protective of it!
This definitely relates to points 1 and 3, but it's especially important for me to be protective of my down time during this season. If I can, I identify at least one day a week where I don't commit to anything and I keep it that way. The way my brain operates, I need at least one day where I don't go anywhere so I can catch up on chores, recharge my mental batteries, and maybe *gasp* do the things that I actually like to do in my down time. If I get offered to do something on that day, I do my best to respectfully decline. Why? Because I have a date with myself and it's important not to cancel hen you've made a commitment! It's hard to say no, but when it comes to self care it's necessary.
5. Have coping techniques on deck
Before we *really* get into the swing of the holidays, make sure you know what your coping mechanisms are when it comes to stress. Make a list on your phone and prepare what you need when you might not be in your comfortable place. The more you can prepare the better you'll feel as you go through the season! It'll also be an extra weight off your shoulders knowing you have go-to methods to make yourself feel a bit better when you're in a stressful environment.
Sending you all lots of love this holiday season. We will get through the stressful times together so we can enjoy making happy memories with our loved ones! <3
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